Games Divorced People Play, by
Dr. Melvyn A. Berke and Joanne B. Grant.
"Unhooking is giving up an emotional and romantic attachment to a person
as well as to a relationship. This is a difficult and lengthy process,
lasting from one to three years. However, the bulk of the work is
accomplished within the first six to ten months following the
"Hooked refers to holding onto an attachment despite the fact that in
the now, the relationship no longer meets the emotional needs of either
"Marital attachment takes approximately two years to develop and is the
binding together with another that gives rise to feelings of safety,
comfort and at homeness when the other is present, or felt accessible.
These feelings persist even when both parties view the marriage as over....
"Detaching from the marital system can be as difficult as detaching from
a spouse. The marital system was as much a part of your life as your
spouse. A year or two after the divorce you may only faintly miss the
person, yet long for the ordered predictability that characterized the