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All Relationships after Divorce Are Different

Well, almost all of them.

As Judith Wallerstein points out in The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, "...the divorced family is not a truncated version of the two-parent family. It is a different kind of family...." So we're talking about the new relationships you must create with your own children, and the new ongoing relationship you must have with the person you chose to be their other parent.

Dating? Chances are, you were in your early 20's when you first married, and you've been out of circulation for (on average) a little over seven years. The places and opportunities to run into the next Mr. or Mrs. Right for you have changed; the way in which dating is done has changed. Your "criteria" have changed.

You have changed.

Think about then versus now: What worried you? What was the focus of your dreams? How did you talk about investments, lifestyle, politics, exercise, your car, child-rearing, diet, education, and career aspirations?

If you think that having no kids always equals a cleaner break, you may be in for a surprised at the pull that the illness of a former father-in-law can have. Or than an ex-sister-in-law continues to rely upon you as godparent to her child.

Moreover, the Journal of Divorce & Remarriage recently published research finding that co-parenting never effectively ends: Not even when parents divorce after their children are grown and out of the home.

"Stepfamily," then, isn't just the term that most readily comes to mind as we anticipate remarriage into households with children under the age of 18.

It's just one way in which you'll benefit from anticipating a new way of relating with almost everyone in your life after divorce.

 

► List of all Post-Divorce Relationship resources

Active Listening -- Tips
Adultery
Agreements
Apologize and make amends
Asking Questions
Camps for Kids
Care taking and rescuers
Child Health
Children and "Friendly Divorce"
Daters' Bill of Rights - Boundaries after Divorce
Divorce Risks: Children
Evaluating Child Care
Explaining Your Divorce to Your Children
Forgiveness
Four Basic Elements of Successful After-Divorce Relationships
Friendship
Listening Habits
Listening Problems
Marital Attachment - "Unhooking" after Divorce
Not Divorcing - for the Sake of the Children
Parenting Classes
Parenting Time Coordination via Internet-Based Scheduler
Personality tests: Jung-Myers-Briggs
Photo Albums On-Line
Reasons to Listen Better
Relationship tests
Step Couples - 10 Steps for Success in Remarriage after Divorce
Step families - 10 Steps for Successful Step-Grandparenting
Step families - 10 Steps for Successful Stepfamilies, Stepchild Parenting
Stepparents - So You Want to be a Stepmother?
The Waitress Test
Why Not Date During Divorce?
Why Wait to Date after divorce?

 

List of all Divorce Peers resources: Dating

"No" (How to Say It)
Boundaries
Daters' Bill of Rights - Boundaries after Divorce
Divorce Court - Analysis of "Best Interests of the Minor Child," factor (F)
Divorce Statistics - "Connected" to Your Former Spouse?
Divorce Statistics - Arguments
Divorce Statistics - By What Criteria Do We Choose Partners?
Divorce Statistics - Caring, Concern, Compassion in Relationships
Divorce Statistics - Children and Divorce, Effects of Divorce on Child
Divorce Statistics - Equity in Marital Chores
Divorce Statistics - How Do Child Custody Placements End Up?
Divorce Statistics - How Ethical Is Your Partner?
Divorce Statistics - Infidelity, Adultery, Cheating, Affairs, ...
Divorce Statistics - Life Balance and Priorities
Divorce statistics - Median Ages for Marriages, Divorces
Divorce Statistics - Religion and Divorce
Divorce Statistics - Sex, among Students, High School, College
Divorce Statistics - Sex, Casual, "No Strings"
Divorce Statistics - Sexually Transmitted Disease (STDs, AIDS)
Divorce Statistics - What if You Just "Think" about Divorce?
Divorce Statistics - Why Did You Get Divorced?
Friendship
Personality tests: Jung-Myers-Briggs
Relationship tests
Safety - Minimize the risk of rape
Safety - Personal Safety in Divorce
Safety - Rape Prevention
Safety - Rape: The facts of life
Safety - Rape: What if...?
Why Not Date During Divorce?
Why Wait to Date after divorce?

 

List of all Divorce Peers resources: Family of Origin

"Three Levels of Divorce"
Personality tests: Jung-Myers-Briggs

 

List of all Divorce Peers resources: Friends

"Three Levels of Divorce"
Care taking and rescuers
Friendship
Personality tests: Jung-Myers-Briggs

 

List of all Divorce Peers resources: Issues

Adultery
Agreements
Apologize and make amends
Care taking and rescuers
Divorce Statistics - Infidelity, Adultery, Cheating, Affairs, ...
Divorce Statistics - Sexually Transmitted Disease (STDs, AIDS)
Divorce Statistics - Why Did You Get Divorced?
Forgiveness
The Waitress Test

 

List of all Divorce Peers resources: Parenting

"No" (How to Say It)
Boundaries
Camps for Kids
Child Custody and the "100-Mile Rule"
Child Health
Children and "Friendly Divorce"
Depresssion and Suicide
Divorce Court - "Forget Me Not" Program for Never Married Parents
Divorce Court - "Reasonable" Parenting Time, Defined
Divorce Court - "SMILE" Program Description, Advice
Divorce Court - Analysis of "Best Interests of the Minor Child"
Divorce Court - Analysis of "Best Interests of the Minor Child," factor (I)
Divorce Court - Michigan Friend of the Court Bureau
Divorce Court - Parenting Time Make-Up Policy
Divorce Risks: Children
Divorce Statistics - Children and Divorce, Effects of Divorce on Child
Divorce Statistics - How Do Child Custody Placements End Up?
Divorce Statistics - How Is Child Custody Decided?
Divorce Statistics - Religion and Divorce
Divorce Statistics - Sex, among Students, High School, College
Divorce Statistics - Visitation and Child Support, Divorced Parents
Eavesdropping between Divorced Parents
Evaluating Child Care
Explaining Your Divorce to Your Children
Four Basic Elements of Successful After-Divorce Relationships
Not Divorcing - for the Sake of the Children
Parenting Classes
Parenting Time Coordination via Internet-Based Scheduler
Photo Albums On-Line
Selecting a Therapist During Divorce
Step families - 10 Steps for Successful Step-Grandparenting
Step families - 10 Steps for Successful Stepfamilies, Stepchild Parenting
Stepparents - So You Want to be a Stepmother?

 

List of Divorce Peers resources: Remarriage

Boundaries
Care taking and rescuers
Divorce Court - Property division precedents, "Special Property Issues"
Friendship
Personality tests: Jung-Myers-Briggs
Relationship tests

 

List of Divorce Peers resources: Step Families

"No" (How to Say It)
Care taking and rescuers
Divorce Court - Analysis of "Best Interests of the Minor Child," factor (D)
Divorce Court - Analysis of "Best Interests of the Minor Child," factor (E)
Divorce Court - Analysis of "Best Interests of the Minor Child," factor (J)
Divorce Statistics - "Connected" to Your Former Spouse?
Divorce Statistics - Arguments
Divorce Statistics - Caring, Concern, Compassion in Relationships
Divorce Statistics - Children and Divorce, Effects of Divorce on Child
Divorce Statistics - Equity in Marital Chores
Divorce Statistics - How Do Child Custody Placements End Up?
Divorce Statistics - How Is Child Custody Decided?
Divorce Statistics - Net Worths, after Divorce
Divorce Statistics - Religion and Divorce
Parenting Classes
Parenting Time Coordination via Internet-Based Scheduler
Photo Albums On-Line
Step Couples - 10 Steps for Success in Remarriage after Divorce
Step families - 10 Steps for Successful Step-Grandparenting
Step families - 10 Steps for Successful Stepfamilies, Stepchild Parenting
Stepparents - So You Want to be a Stepmother?

 

List of all Divorce Peers resources: Your Ex?

"No" (How to Say It)
Adultery
After Your Judgment of Divorce
Boundaries
Care taking and rescuers
Divorce Court - "Forget Me Not" Program for Never Married Parents
Divorce Court - "Reasonable" Parenting Time, Defined
Divorce Court - "SMILE" Program Description, Advice
Divorce Court - Analysis of "Best Interests of the Minor Child," factor (F)
Divorce Court - Analysis of "Best Interests of the Minor Child," factor (I)
Divorce Court - Analysis of "Best Interests of the Minor Child," factor (J)
Divorce Court - Parenting Time Make-Up Policy
Divorce Statistics - "Connected" to Your Former Spouse?
Divorce Statistics - Infidelity, Adultery, Cheating, Affairs, ...
Eavesdropping between Divorced Parents
Forgiveness
Four Basic Elements of Successful After-Divorce Relationships
Marital Attachment - "Unhooking" after Divorce

 


We are not attorneys.

We are not psychologists.

We simply help clients negotiate their own divorces.

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Southeast Michigan
since 1983

Divorce Reality
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